The results of a recent study showed that since 1972 women’s happiness levels have dropped. This may seem puzzling and even ironic since there are so many more opportunities for women now than there were 37 years ago, and since other studies have shown that men are taking a greater role in child rearing and housework.The study showed that women are happier early on in their lives, but become sadder as they grow older. What factors are involved in this sudden drop in contentment? Is it the pressures on women to look young, sexy, and attractive all while juggling a career and child rearing - to be everything to everybody?
I just finished reading HALF THE SKY, an incredible, eye-opening book in which I'll blog about soon. The last chapter examines what influences our long-term happiness, and that social psychologists have found through multiple studies that our happiness isn't dependent on what good or bad things happen to us, like one would think. For example, if we happened to win the lottery we might feel a blip of happiness, but it would taper off. If we got hit by a car and became paraplegic, we'd find a drop in happiness, but then our happiness would resume to the levels in which they were before the accident. Most importantly, they point out that our happiness levels are directly tied to a "connection of something larger - a greater cause or humanitarian purpose."
I believe there are many reasons why women aren’t happy. There are too many distractions, pressures to perform as mothers and in careers, lack of appreciation for doing what really matters, and less quality time with those we love. But the biggest factor, I believe, is that we become so leashed to our daily activities that we forget that life is really bigger than us. It wasn’t until I became involved in a much bigger cause than just me, that I truly became the happiest person I’ve ever been. I still could give more, and when I have a noticeable drop in happiness, it's usually directly related to how long it has been since I've spent time giving to the cause.
In an age where we're bombarded with information and messages regarding what we think will make us happy, we often lose sight of who we really are and who we want to become. It is proven that an altruistic attitude is the best way to create a meaningful life full of lasting happiness.
4 comments:
That is a very interesting and thought-provoking post. I know that I'm not super happy right now... and I am in the midst of living for a greater cause (I think)... caring for my our adopted daughter (as well as our other two children). I'm not happy because I worry about her health and her future. I worry that I am not doing everything I can for her. It's a burden where it's hard to find joy except for the fleeting moments when I see her bright smile and hear her delight.
I would think that in general women are less happy when they get older because they take upon themselves the worries of all that goes on around them and it's difficult to come out from under hoping that all these cumulative challenges will ever be resolved. But perhaps I am being a bit naive in thinking that women's worries are not so self-centered. I do believe in greater causes though, as you do!
Here..Here...I totally agree! Last year I had a very large drop in my own happiness. I ended up going on medication in order to dig myself out of the giagantic hole I had made. I was able to look at my life and found I was being extremely selfish and only thinking of myself. I started helping my family and friends more. I gave service to my neighbors and you know what I found........DANIELE!
This last conference was devoted to service for others. I loved Pres. Monson's talk about getting the "warm fuzzies" from a primary. I keep humming "Have I done any good in the world today!" The scripture are chuck full of giving service. Service is the key to true happiness.
Sandy - you make a really important point that hadn't occurred to me. It's true that we as women tend to take on the problems and worries of our families - especially children. As we get older those challenges multiply and become very heavy. Also, I think caring for a child with a developmental disability is one of the greatest challenges - the strain it places on the marriage and family, the exhausting hours required, hope that is often shrouded in discouragement and disappointment. But like you said, those perfect days, those milestones met all come together to bring the greatest joy imaginable. Sandy, I think you're an incredible mom. Right now, the greater cause is your daughter, and she is so blessed to have you. Save those happy moments to carry you through the dark ones. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you :)
Daniele - you're one of the most service-oriented people I know! It meant so much to me that you'd pass around petitions in your neighborhood for us last year even though you had no personal connection to autism. You reminded me that I need to be a more supportive friend. You've created a ripple effect and I've felt it! Pres. Monson gave an incredible talk. The warm fuzzy jar? That was OUR primary. Yep I'm so proud. I have a girl with autism in my class and if you saw all the purple warm fuzzies - those were hers :) My own kids were jumping up and down screaming around the room when they saw it. "We're famous!" they yelled. He actually sent our primary a wonderful letter and photos of him with the warm fuzzy jar. It's something we'll never forget. I wish you lived closer, Daniele so we could hang out more. I think you're a wonderful person and friend.
Very good post Leeann. I am really looking forward to reading more about the what you have read. I often feel inside that there is a bigger purpose and that some how I am missing it. This feeling lingers when I know that spiritually I am doing all the things I should be doing.
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